Nearly every display of birthday cards features several that exploit the downside of aging as funny. These jokes primarily concern loss of appearance, loss of health and energy, loss of sex appeal and potency, or may view just the state of being old itself as amusing. I have found myself laughing at some of these gags, because I too have inherited our society’s view of the old, but in this post I want to point out some of the advantages and strengths elders possess.
That it is necessary to bring attention to these strengths shows the degree to which our society has lost what most earlier societies had and what many other cultures still possess today: a respect for elders. Until recently, elders had the most knowledge and experience, essential to advising or even leading the tribe through difficulties. (I say, until recently, because it is only recently that the rate of change has been such that the technologies mastered by elders have been superseded within their lifetimes.) Elders still have much good advice to give. Grandparents formerly had an important, and usually highly beneficial, role in raising children; they inculcated an appreciation of the child’s history and family background, modeled prudent behavior, and taught essential skills, all while giving parents a break. Now grandparents often live hundreds of miles away, and children have little interaction with elders. Historically, the opinions of elders were sought out, deferred to, and taken to heart. For example, among present-day Abkhasians, a long-lived central Asian people, an individual might lie about his age, but he will say he is older than he is, to gain more respect, instead of pretend to be younger, as we might do.
Apart from losing influence, how do the advantages/disadvantages of aging stack up in our society? First of all, there’s no denying that one’s body gradually slows down, with aches and pains more likely to appear. The positive side is that strategies for preventing huge amounts of discomfort, debilitating illness, and early death are proven, available to everyone, and free. Only two habits need to be remembered, cultivated, and practiced: a low-fat vegan diet, and regular exercise. This prevents or reverses heart disease, many cancers, type 2 diabetes, obesity, and numerous other ailments that plague the aging population, keeping elders trim, flexible, and active. Much advice and support in implementing these habits is available, so there are really no excuses left. One can expect to retain memory and maintain one’s appearance better with such a regimen as well. And a tip of the hat to modern dentistry, which allows elders to keep their teeth much longer than was formerly the case.
Even healthy elders may experience a decline of energy, but that is not likely to be a problem, because of a benefit of old age: elders don’t need to be constantly on the go, exploring and collecting new experiences, in order to be contented. Everyone needs some of that, of course; we all want to be aware of what’s going on around us, and try new things, but the need for novelty declines in intensity. It is a relief to be happy without needing to be always on the go. Sexual expression changes also, but need not disappear, nor become less enjoyable.
Far out ahead in all accounting of positives and negatives of aging, however, is retirement. I’ve been retired a year and a half, and can confirm that, next to good health and a loving partner, it is the most wonderful gift imaginable! To have no constraints on one’s time, freedom from the demands of a job and the stress of dealing with co-workers, administration, and customers, possibilities for travel (even if only modest), plus being able to spend more time with family members and pursue hobbies, is beyond all previous glimpses of paradise. For me, the freedom and peace of retirement completely supersedes negative aspects of aging.
What does all this have to do with being practical peacemakers? We create a more peaceful society if we respect and value our elders and draw out their talents. We decrease the need for expensive health care and the incidence of suffering among elders, by modeling and encouraging healthful vegan diets and exercise. By remembering that aging makes retirement possible, elders themselves can overlook the minor discomforts or limitations they experience and retain a more cheerful outlook. This will lead them to develop latent talents and have more to contribute to the improvement of society.
Whether retired or not, many elders are smart, experienced, resilient, content with simpler lifestyles, and often under less stress than when they were building careers and/or parenting. They are comfortable in their own skins, having let go worrying so much about appearances. They’re better able to take setbacks in stride, and find humor in everyday situations. Particularly since we have no choice about getting older–as the old joke goes, it’s better than the alternative–we can focus on and celebrate the strengths and freedoms that aging brings.
